The Tao that can be told
Is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
Is not the eternal name.
The Tao is both named and nameless.
As nameless it is the origin of all things;
As named it is the mother of 10,000 things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery;
Ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations.
And the mystery itself is the doorway to
All understanding.
-Lao-tzu, The Tao Te Ching
2024 was a challenging yet fruitful year for me, ripe with a series of health challenges that kept raining down faster than I could say my name. Yet, I stand today grateful and strong enough to tell the tale. These physical tests brought me many lessons. Among them:
recognizing the importance of slowing down and being still
being clear on what matters most
recognizing and accepting the polarity of paradox, for example, being ill and having a robust constitution
discovering strength in vulnerability
finding clarity after surrendering
reconnecting with my creative self through art, dance and music making
I learned that strength doesn’t always look like power or control—it can look like letting go. It’s a paradox I never expected: the more I accepted the situation, the stronger I became, making space for healing to occur.
What is a Paradox?
Paradox is the art of holding two truths that seem contradictory but are deeply interconnected. It shows up everywhere—when leaders are called to both inspire boldness and practice humility, or when our deepest wounds become the source of our greatest gifts
Paradoxes show up at every turn in our lives. We are all dealing with at least a major one at the current moment in our personal or professional lives. They tend to bring quite a bit of suffering because we tend to view them as contradictions. Yet, paradox differs from contradiction. The former is creative, while the latter is destructive. Contradiction implies resistance, and what we resist persists.
How can you spot a contradiction? It unmistakably comes with a sense of being stuck, even a contraction somewhere in the body. Becoming aware of it is a first step, not in eliminating it, but in sitting with it. Paradoxes cannot be solved, only held lightly and integrated.
What is Integration?
It starts with acknowledgment and acceptance of the duality. We simply sit with it, examine it with curiosity, never push it away or resist it. Then we ask ourselves: what is this situation trying to teach me? While pondering the question, engaging in regular rituals that promote stillness and engage the non-rational part of our brain becomes hugely important. Any practice that gives a physical expression to the paradox that manifests it in a non-destructive way is beneficial. You can paint it, draw it, sculpt it, dance it, scream it. You can write about it in detail. You can burn or bury something that symbolizes it. All along, practice self-compassion if shame, guilt and anger are involved. To our psyche, reality is a subjective business and symbolic experiences are as meaningful as actual ones. The psyche cannot tell them apart. Eventually, a third way, a creative way, a shift in perspective emerges from the clouds of confusion. Clarity emerges and with it flow is restored. We can move forward again.
This matters immensely on the journey we are all on.This is why paradoxes are gold. Carl Jung saw them as the essential driver behind growth, and ultimately individuation, the manifestation of our purpose.
What Does Paradox Have to Do with Leadership?
Leaders are constantly confronted with complex situations, some seemingly intractable. Behind every complex situation lies a paradox. Becoming adept at juggling our own internal paradoxes is a prerequisite for consciously navigating the outer paradoxes of life. This is what it takes to steer an organization, a group, or a family towards creative synthesis. As leaders, we owe it to ourselves to embrace our inner paradoxes to effectively navigate the complexity around us.
What is the one “contradiction” in your life that might actually hide a hidden gem?
How can you reframe this obstacle as a source of purpose?
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